THE RIGHT ATTITUDE

      Possessing the right attitude towards life and towards everything is not an easy thing to do but it sure is a key to achieving success and  joy derived  from attaining results in your endeavors.

      There is a need to develop a right attitude toward basically everything you do but i would love to elaborate on two aspects. 
          Developing the right attitude towards yourself ; To be accepted and valued by others means you need to accept  and value yourself first. In other words, before you desire love and acceptance from others,you have to make sure that you deserve it.
        You need to work hard on developing yourself in every way(mentally,physically,economically,spiritually). Develop your abilities as well,this will help boost your self confidence.Always have at the back of your mind that every individual  has an equal chance to become greater than he is and the best way to better yourself is to do a lot better.
        Try new things every time and gain the experience.Its ok to make mistakes atimes but be sure to learn from your mistakes and move on. Life is too short to dwell on mistakes of the past.
        Appearance is very vital,love yourself enough to take care of you. Look presentable and neat at all times because this draws people closer to you. Smell good and make sure you dress decently because this will boost your confidence. 
          Developing the right attitude towards your relationship;  With experiences from past relationships and from observing that of my friends and even family, I have realized that when you cling so much onto a relationship and are so scared to loose it, you end up loosing it indeed.
       I also realized that clinging so much unto a relationship results in being overprotective,unnecessarily jealous and nagging, all of which can suffocate your partner and make them want to have their freedom back thus leaving the relationship. I have had instances where I had to speak to some people to find out why they abandon a relationship and they all complain of this same thing mentioned above.
        The right attitude hence is to give your partner some space to concentrate on building their own life whiles you build yours as well, get a life of your own away from the relationship. I have grown to believe that when you love somebody ,you give them enough  space and chance to be themselves and  if they always come back to you ,then indeed they are yours for real.
         There is no need to bank all your hopes on your partner. If you find your life empty,try putting something into it.Invest time in other things like good friends,family, work or school and hobbies. Always remember that  a task worth doing and friends worth having makes life worthwhile.
         I used to plan my life around every guy that I dated and you know what that means right? By doing that means I was always so scared to loose them and if eventually the relationship doesn't work I get completely dissapointed and my plans crumble down.Then I have to start all over from the scratch with someone else.
       This behavior meant I was always moving backwards not ahead in my life and when I realized this I developed a right attitude towards it. I also realized that Love is  like a bridge-  we cross over it,but don't establish yourself upon it.
        I now have a life of my own away from any  relationship I enter. I have aligned my goals in life and I am working hard towards achieving them. Instead of  building my life around a man, I  now welcome a man who will support me to  achieve these goals.You cant do away with love because when there is love in your life there is joy in your heart.
        I once listened to a counselor speak at a valentines day  programme which was organized at K.N.U.S.T campus and it turned my life around in a small way.
        She mentioned that whilst you are young and not married yet, it is healthy to make a lot of friends. Get to know them,watch their behavior  among other friends and their behavior when they are alone. Watch how they react to issues  and how they handle problems. Do not be in a hurry to commit, this is not to say that commitment to one good person is a bad thing but to be on the safer side you need to actually relax  to make that decision.
      Taking your time to decide helps prevent too many heart breaks  and help you make a choice of a partner that will  last you a lifetime. The writer Leo Buscaglia,PhD. also buttressed this in his book LIVING LOVING and LEARNING that " a mentally healthy individual is the one who has most alternatives,the most viable ones. a person who can say' if this doesn't happen,what else and what else and what else is possible".    
       I'm still  very young and in the process of learning  a lot more in life but with the experiences I have had so far, I have learnt my lessons,developed  positive attitudes towards them and  am now more result oriented and very confident.
       I end here with so much hope that you would pick at least one point in all I have said which will affect your life greatly and help you to live your life like a snowball; always leaving a mark and never a stain.
       May God in his own grace interpret this to you and give you a greater insight into this. God bless you.